I’ve been saying this ever since I realized the only reason why I feel like I’m always one step behind the 8-ball is because my mother won’t stop reminding me that I need to get “serious” about dating. As if graduating college on a scholarship, finding a dream job, becoming financially independent, and starting a business by 28 in this horrible economy are minor achievements compared to the Holy Grail aka getting married and having kids. She even goes as far as coming up with elaborate “how to catch a man” strategies, and encourages me to spend my weekends at places like med school libraries… Kill me!
I can’t blame her for the way she thinks though. Most of our parents see the world through a prism where normal means married at 22 with two kids before 30. To top it off, my mom grew up in a country where unmarried women over 30 are considered “torsheedeh” which literally translates into “rotten”, so I can see why she’s afraid I’ll go to waste if I don’t find someone soon. It probably doesn’t help that I don’t tell her about the guys I date, but it beats yelling at her just because some douche bag hurt my feelings and I don’t feel like talking about it. Because of this, she now Facebook stalks me, sees pictures of my guy friends at parties, and doesn’t realize she doesn’t have to advise me not to date party boys. Basically, in her eyes, and probably in a lot of what I call my virtual friends eyes, I am a party girl who needs to grow up, and my 30th birthday is a ticking time bomb, after which I will no longer be a high demand commodity.
O Facebook, how I love and hate the way you manipulate people’s perception.
30s are the modern woman’s prime, not the beginning of her decent into the live alone with cats abyss. Being single is both fun and painful, but as much as we all want to be in love, have sex on demand, and not deal with any of this bullshit dating drama, it’s nice to have the bed all to yourself, flirt text 15 guys relentlessly, and be able to leave town on a whim. I admit as I get closer to the 3-0, I am finally ready to share my bed, but I don’t think I’ll be alone forever if I stay single until I meet the one I want in it more than twice a week. You can’t just willie‑nellie give the keys to any persistent guy who wants to be your boyfriend just because it doesn’t work out with the guys you like. Casual relationships turn into serious ones that either end in marriage or break up, so assuming you don’t plan on breaking up when you start a relationship (in which case you have issues), you’re essentially making the decision that your cute new boyfriend has the potential to become the father of your children one day. The decision to move someone out of the “this guy I’m dating“ zone into the official “BF” category is so major that it should not be made with a something is better than nothing mentality.
That’s how people end up getting divorced.
I’m not in denial about the biological realities of reproduction, but why rush the monkey out of the gate?? You’re only in your 20s once, and the last thing I want to be is some 35-year-old divorcee at a club, because I decided to get married before I knew who I am or what I want. You can’t be happily married if you don’t get the wild and free out of your system, so own it because 30 really is the new 21.
What Is It About 20-Somethings? – NYTimes.com.