Valentine’s day pisses me off. Not because I’m single, but because I’m expected to be unhappy being single, and then I feel bad for not feeling bad.
I get invited to forced get togethers of depressed single people commiserating, branded as Anti-Valentines day parties, and then I have to come up with excuses to get out of them because I’d rather be doing what I do on every other holiday that doesn’t apply to me. Feeling bad about Valentines Day has become such an expectation, that I can’t even say I want to stay home because everyone will think I’m just saying that because I’m sad, so they push even harder to save me from my supposed misery. I can’t even go to the mall alone, because for some reason the presumed female grief gives guys the predator pass. They get on the streets like sharks feening blood, as if just because it’s February 14th, we’re supposed to be turned on by desperation.
Valentine’s day is the perfect example of consumer culture winning over basic human logic. You don’t see people without kids going crazy on Mother’s day, so why does everyone feel entitled to celebrate the couples holiday?
Don’t get it twisted though. I’m not a cold-hearted bitch with no capacity for romance. In fact, I’m probably more of a romantic than most because I fantasize (and write) about love. The years that I was in a relationship, I spent weeks coming up with the coolest, most unexpected Vday ideas, but the fact that advertisers force us to not only want, but expect our lovers to beg for reservations, and pay triple for some generic gift is precisely why I hate this day so much. February 14th is everything that’s wrong with modern relationships. It’s the market place taking full advantage of our emotions, and forcing this stupid holiday down our throats, so regardless of relationship status, we all feel pressured to be something we’re not—couples included.
The wrath of Valentine’s day doesn’t stop there, it also imposes an unnecessary toll on new relationships in the grey zone. It becomes a test that people who’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks have to survive. Their status gets measured by their acknowledgment of the day. The natural flow of the relationship gets disrupted by this elephant in the room, and unless the guy’s level of acknowledgment matches the girl’s expectation, the relationship will likely go up in flames.
Ironic isn’t it?
Sex and flowers are way better when they’re unexpected, not when they’re a forced occasion like prom. A healthy relationship is about consistency, not fulfilling a once a year chore. Spontaneity is the spice of life, and Valentine’s day is an unfair estimate of devotion, especially if the person treats you well the rest of the year. My advice, for all it’s worth, is no matter what your relationship status is, drop the expectation on Valentine’s day because it’s only going to ruin your chances of experiencing true love. Maybe then you’ll be surprised.
VALENTINE’S DAY FLOWER DELIVERY….